


What's in a Name

by Highly_Illogical



Series: Kowalski Family Snapshots [4]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Baby Names, Cute, F/M, Family, Fluff, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highly_Illogical/pseuds/Highly_Illogical
Summary: The sweet struggle to name a child, magical edition. Jacob wants a proper wizarding name for his and Queenie's unborn heir, but with the wacky options available, it's not that simple.





	

**Author's Note:**

> And... I made this into a series. Couldn't resist. It's always had sequels (that's right, in the plural) in my head, but they never seemed to come together until now, so what can I say? Merry Christmas or whatever else you may celebrate, here's my present to the fandom.

“Jacob, what…? Oh, that’s so sweet of you!”

He chuckled and snapped her old History of Magic textbook shut.

“Couldn’t keep it a secret for long, now could I? For one thing, it’s the only one of your old schoolbooks that makes sense to me, and second, I have to get ideas from somewhere.”

“It’s so thoughtful of you to worry about that.”

His eyes slid down to the now noticeable bump in her figure and she patted it affectionately.

“Yeah, well, the thing is, I want our child to have a proper witch or wizard’s name, but no offense, between Newt and your sister, I kind of got the impression that wizard parents tend to give their kids rather, uh…”

“ _Peculiar_ names?” She gave a short, tinkling laugh. “No offense taken, you’ve got a point there. It’s one of the reasons we shortened it to Tina, we don’t want her to stick out like a sore thumb. That, and she could never stand how pompous it sounded.”

“Maybe that’s a good compromise—something that can have a nice, ordinary nickname… It seems only fair for our kid to fit into both worlds, doesn’t it?”

“There are plenty of wizards with perfectly common names, you know.”

“Yeah, but what if we choose a normal one and it doesn’t get any respect? What if it _shows_ that the kid isn’t from an all-magical family because of it?”

“Okay, now you’re overthinking it. Still, why don’t we write a shortlist?”

A few waves of her wand later, a piece of parchment was floating before them, quill poised to take dictation. A straight line ran down the middle, splitting it into two columns, one for boys and one for girls. Jacob had been giddy at the thought that magic could go as far as to eliminate the problem altogether and tell them in advance, but Queenie had been just as excited at the prospect of a surprise, and so a surprise it would be.

“James and William seem nice—you can go pretty much anywhere with a name like that.”

“I can tell you’re thinking of the Ilvermorny chapter even without reading your mind properly, hon, but they’re good contestants. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have any of that cranberry pie left, would you?”

“Again?”

“You can’t blame an expecting mother for getting a little sentimental.”

“No, but I had to make you _seven_ of those before it tasted exactly like the one you used to have as a girl. I was beginning to think it had some kind of magical secret ingredient in it.”

“The only secret ingredient I want is your love, Jacob, and I know for a fact you put plenty of it in anything that comes out of your oven.”

His heart warmed at that. Other men would have called it saccharine, but it was the honest truth. It was what made the difference between Kowalski’s Quality Baked Goods and a machine spitting out food ten times as fast.

“Anyway, speaking of that, I’m not sure about Isolt for a girl, it might come across as too pretentious…” The quill dutifully added a question mark next to it as if sensing her uncertainty. “We should definitely consider Martha, though.”

Jacob pulled a face. “Don’t jinx it.”

“Jinx it? Oh—you and your expressions. It’s not that easy to bring someone bad luck, you know, and besides, I told you I wouldn’t mind.”

He wanted to believe her, really. In fact, she probably knew as well as he did how hard he was trying to convince himself, but the doubt was still there, and she was just being nice enough not to bring it up, as always—was it true that she wouldn’t be let down, or was it just something she said to reassure him?

“If you don’t like it, we can take it out of the running. Too bad, it seemed nice enough for either side.” The name was crossed out in a swishing motion.

“Hey, can’t a father wish for the best for his child? Between the two, I’d much prefer to have a little witch or wizard running around. That’s one thing magic has in common with sweets—once you get a taste, you can never have enough.”

He felt privileged to be a part of that world that seemed to come right out of a fairytale, however small that part was, and he’d come to terms with his own limitations. It wasn’t every day that the court jester got to marry the princess, and if you asked him, it made a better story than the usual knight in shining armor, not that Queenie needed much rescuing. But a future of sitting by the sidelines with him, watching things they could never have like kids salivating outside his shop window but unable to grab the treats on display, was not the life he wanted for his firstborn.

“Be careful what you wish for, sweetheart. If the little one is magical, you might go prematurely grey.”

“As if No-Maj children couldn’t do that. I know I was a handful—one of the reasons Grandma got me into baking. It was the only time I would ever listen.” She smiled fondly, whether at his words or at the memories that came with them, he couldn’t tell. “Anyway, back to the list.”

“Charity goes in the ‘maybe’ pile,” Queenie declared. “Charity Wilkinson was a very respected witch, and here’s hoping our kid will live as long, but Teenie would have a cow—she has a bit of a grudge against those virtue names, and I can’t blame her.”

“Yeah, I can see why. What about Emily instead?”

Queenie shook her head. “It’s pretty, but I’d really rather not name our girl after the woman who made it so difficult for us to be together in the first place, thank you very much.”

“Oops. Any others that are really out of the question?”

“Well, Dorcus, for one. Who uses that in this day and age? They’d laugh at her in either world, for one reason or another. And if you’ve read that chapter, then you’ll also know why you won’t find many wizards around who are called Bartholomew.”

“Pity. Bart is a decent enough nickname. But I wouldn’t want our child’s name to bring up a sensitive subject, so if you say it’s out, it’s out.”

“What about Gondulphus for a boy?” His mind must have conveyed his opinion loud and clear, because she was quick to amend: “I’m only teasing, honey. Even I wouldn’t know what sort of nickname could salvage it. Maybe Theodard, Theo for short?”

“Hey, I think I know where you’re getting these.”

She smiled as a recollection from a few chapters ago came up to the forefront of his mind. “You’re a quick study. I don’t think President Jackson knew at the time that he was practically setting the standard for popular wizarding names in America, but…”

“Now wait just one minute.”

 

His name wasn’t going to raise as many impressed eyebrows in Britain, but the fact remained that Josiah Quincy Kowalski was as loved on one side of the pond as he would have been on the other, and he was proving just as tough as his historical counterpart, if the sheer volume of the crying with which he announced his grand entrance into the world was anything to go by.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hear me out before you kill me. There seems to be a wild variety of genders and names, but in the stories I’ve seen so far, it seems a little more popular to make Jacob and Queenie’s first child a girl. In my head, though, it’s always been a boy. The only proof we have (to my knowledge) that their relationship will somehow continue and end up producing children is a certain Quentin Kowalski, Chaser for the American national team in the last World Cup. My conclusion is that, unless witches have an easier time keeping their name after they marry, there must be one boy for each generation to preserve it, so why not get rid of the problem and make their firstborn a boy? They can have ten girls afterwards, for all I know—more room for smut writers to have fun.
> 
> Naming the little guy was such a struggle for me that I felt it deserved its own story. The fact that the modern-day descendant is named Quentin gave me the feeling that the letter Q must be reoccurring, but there aren’t a lot of Q names in existence—so why not make _both_ their initials a tradition? In the end, I was so torn between Josiah and Quincy that I decided to give him a middle name and be done with it. Besides, we need a name that says ‘tough’ and ‘innovative’. Unless a tragedy happens, he’ll probably be alive in 1965, when Rappaport’s Law is repealed. Naming him after the first President of MACUSA seemed fair.


End file.
